Lately the Granola Poet has been about as elusive as a two-tone green leprechaun hat in a box of Lucky Charms. I apologize, but there is a perfectly good explanation for my absence. Unfortunately, it's not a particularly poetic explanation, so let's move on...
I now and then crave a well-aged gorgonzola
Hand fed to me in my private gondola
While a hand-cranked Victrola
Plays a piece for viola
It's nearly as nice as a bowl o' granola
It finally happened... I've been tagged. So eight random things about myself? Jeez, I didn't think anything about me was random. I thought it all had purpose. Ah, well.
1) I was born right smack in the middle of the sign of Cancer, so I'm a crab in every way. Moody, sensitive, emotional, domestic, motherly and unconventional. So I release my emotions in the form of Limericks - they're like my 350 little babies (and counting).
2) When I was a kid we raised California Desert Tortoises. Turtles are something like cancers — always carrying their homes on the backs — but not as crabby. And turtles hate to be flipped over, whereas I love being upside-down. It's a different perspective that's often more satisfying to my unconventional disposition. I like to walk around on my hands. I also enjoy headstands and powerful hallucinogens.
3) I grew up in Orange County in the 1980s, a time and place where Ronald Reagan was revered as a living god. No one can deny that he accomplished great things for the wealthy. Nothing could be a greater violation of the poetic principles. Except possibly his proliferation of WMD.
4) The 2 months I worked at Le Bastide Haute in Theizac, France was probably the greatest time of my life. I tended vegetables, shoveled horse manure, watched over chickens and rabbits, hunted mice, and made friends with an ass named Jocko (he had great ears for listening). I formed a close bond to the earth, drank copious amounts of wine, and made communion with Dionysus.
5) During a siesta at Le Bastide, I found an old copy of James Joyce's Ulysses, in English. I pulled it off the shelf and was intrigued by the introduction by Anthony Burgess. So I read it. I was confused. I had no internet or reference books of any kind, so I was very confused, and amazed. Five years later I re-read it along with a trove of explanatory books and essays. This was a far more rewarding experience. I was less confused, and more amazed.
6) As I said before, Cancers are domestic creatures. We take pride in our homes, we like cooking and gardening and mothering. I feel a very motherly connection to my home planet. She's Mother Earth, but sometimes she needs a little nurturing herself. My heart aches when I see her being ruthlessly raped by greedy men. Sometimes I worry that she's fallen in with the wrong crowd.
7) As I said before, turtles hate to be turned upside down but I like it. After 9-11 everybody said their world had be turned inside out or upside down. Mine seemed right side up for the first time. I had just spent 6 weeks tilling the earth in southern France. I had departed France about 3 days earlier. And a week later I would meet my future wife at youth hostel in Lubeck, Germany, the birthplace of Thomas Mann.
8) Before joining the Cult of Dionysus, I was really into numerology and 8 was my lucky number. My first name has 4 letters and the name I go by also has 4 letters. My last name has 8 letters and starts with the 8th letter of the alphabet. My bother's name has four letters and together we started a business with 8 letters. It's actually a compound word, formed by combining two 4-letter words. The name of the business also started with the 8th letter of the alphabet. The address of my branch of the business was 844 Monterey St. My new business is on the corner of 8th street, and it has 9 letters. The ninth letter of the alphabet is the second letter in the word "eight." What could this mean?
Come now, mash down babylon
Up and down the mountain
Wash away the wickedness
And purify the fountain
They're poisoning our very souls
And brainwashing the youth
They've hidden all the answers
And re-arranged the truth
Hungry eyes observe the Dow
It's highest point in years
While the fife and drum of Ares
Is ringing in my ears
A million martyrs stand in line
While shepherds speak of profits
Portfolios resurrected
Yet the death toll still skyrockets
The gold that briefly glitters
Is worth its weight in salt
While those inclined to seek it
Close their minds up like a vault
The golden promise broken
Yet many still revere it
They pray for nothing greater
And sell away their spirit
So breathe a little every day
And don' get left behind
Please obey the noble truths
Let Buddha free your mind
